I have a reputation for making deliciously fucked up vegan cupcakes (and note that when I say “reputation”, I mean among the three vegan patrons of the Munchie Machine food truck–who used to sell my goods–and the friends and coworkers unfortunate enough to fall victim to my force-feeding tendencies). But. Anyway. These really take the cake…and the pie. So if you feel like settling into a diabetic coma this holiday season, feast upon this orgiastic confection of holiday flavors.
For the gingerbread (This is just a veganized version of a standard southern gingerbread recipe. If you have your own, feel free to use it):
- ¼ c. non-hydrogenated vegetable shortening (non-hydrogenated because, really, we don’t want Dear Readers suffering an expedient death by heart failure)
- ¼ c. Earth Balance buttery spread
- 1 c. hot water
- 1 c. molasses
- ¾ c. sugar
- 1 ½ tsp. each ground ginger and cinnamon
- ½ tsp. kosher salt
- 2 tsp. baking soda
- 2 ¾ c. flour
- ½ c. of plain or vanilla soy yogurt + 2 tbsp. cornstarch, whipped together until you determine it “well-beaten” (it should be somewhat stiff—relative to the viscosity of normal soy yogurt, at least–and hold a few air bubbles.)
For the pumpkin pie filling (this makes way too much, so if you’re feeling mathematically ambitious, feel free to halve this recipe):
- 1 15-16 oz. can of pumpkin
- ¾ c. coconut milk
- 1/3 c. plain soy yogurt
- 2 tbsp. flour
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1 tsp. each cinnamon and ginger
- ½ tsp. nutmeg
- ¼ tsp. allspice
- 2 tbsp. molasses
- ½ c. sugar
- 2 tbsp. cornstarch
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees and fill two muffin tins with 18 paper liners.
- Prepare the pumpkin pie filling first: combine all ingredients in a blender and give it a whirl.
- Pour the contents of your blender into a shallow, oven-safe bowl and bake for about 10 minutes—just give it enough time to solidify a little bit.
- Time for the gingerbread: Turn down the oven to 350 degrees.
- Combine ingredients through spices in a medium saucepan. As the fats begin to melt down (mmm), whisk everything to incorporation. Heat mixture over medium flame until it comes to a boil, then turn off the heat (removing it from your oven range if necessary) and give it a stir.
- Sift together the remaining dry ingredients. Create a well in the center of it.
- Pour molasses into the well of sifted dry ingredients to create a calorically dense volcano of deliciousness.
- Stir all of the ingredients together, and then add soy yogurt/cornstarch mixture.
- Fill muffin tins 1/3 of the way with gingerbread batter, and then place 2 tablespoons (or so) of pumpkin pie filling on top of that. Add a final layer of gingerbread batter—enough to cover the pumpkin pie filling. The tins will probably be ¾ full at this point. (These cupcakes are probably going to erupt over the top of the liner mid-baking; they’re a little insecure about their muffin top, so resist the urge to make fat jokes at their expense, please.)
- Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
- Allow to cool, and then refrigerate.
- When ready to serve, top with non-dairy whipped topping.
- Groan with pleasure.