Product Review: Vegan Cuts Snack Box!

I had a really fantastic day last Wednesday. My new dress (for one of many weddings this spring) came in the mail. My new mascara came in the mail. Even the air fresheners I ordered came in the mail. Slightly less exciting, but still, who doesn’t love the thrill of opening a box with STUFF in it? Way more exciting than air fresheners, I also got a box full of goodies in the mall – the Vegan Cuts Snack Box!

It's like Christmas EVERY MONTH!

It’s like Christmas EVERY MONTH!

Vegan Cuts is a great site that we’ve reviewed products for before, and they were kind enough to send me a box full of sunshine to take for a test eating. I had been wanting to try this bad boy ever since I first heard about the service, and this one was perfectly timed. I’m still going through the hell of finals week, and having portable snacks ready for me to devour on the couch or on campus has been super handy. I haven’t made it through the whole box yet, but here’s what I’ve eaten so far:

  • First to get destroyed were the Oloves lemony olives. I am an olive fiend and having a little pouch of olives say, “Oh hi Jessica, I’m all ready for you to eat me, also I’m covered in delicious lemon juice and herbs, let’s be BFFS” is a recurring dream of mine. I’ve had these on flights before in those little snack packs you pay $9 for, and they are absolutely delightful. Portable olives! GENIUS.
  • I also went to town on the Food Should Taste Good sweet potato chips. I agree with their Descendents-esque brand name – food SHOULD taste good, damnit. And these did! They were a little on the salty/oily side for me, but that didn’t mean I didn’t finish the bag. They were thick and crunchy and awesome with a little Pesto Vegenaise on top. (What? Like you wouldn’t do the same if you had some in your fridge.)
  • There was even a teeny little jar of artichoke bruschetta! After squealing for a while about how eety beety it was, I spread that thing on some crackers and it was the perfect snack for an intense study sesh. It was a bit oily, but the flavor was really delightful. I think this would make a great spread for a sandwich or two.
  • The Skinny Pop came in extremely handy on a day when I was in my car for way too many hours and then on campus for even more hours. I really love popcorn, to the point where I start to crave it sometimes, but mostly for the texture. I’m not big on loading it with salt and Earth Balance most of the time. This stuff was just right. Just a little bit of saltiness and oil. Also, it’s nice to have a 100-calorie pack of something that is more than a sliver of food that leaves you with a general idea of what eating it would be like. There were honest-to-glob handfuls of popcorn in there! I proceeded to get it all over myself in the car. I’ll definitely buy this stuff again since I’m lazy and never use my microwave popcorn popper. One criticism I do have, though, is I’m not a fan of brands using words like “skinny” and “guilt” on their packaging. We’re image-obsessed enough already, and equating our food with our feelings is unhealthy! It’s a rant for another day, for sure, but I just can’t help but say that I think it’s high time manufacturers stopped using terms that relate to one’s sense of self-worth to describe food.
  • TEESE! I haven’t gotten to eat this lovely little tube of nacho goodness yet, but I can’t wait. It’s been years since I’ve had it but I remember nothing but good things about it.
  • I am a huge Teecino fan. I can’t handle caffeine much. It’s kind of hilarious how hopped up and insane I get on a latte, and then crash so hard you’d think I was coming off a controlled substance or something. Teecino is great to have around for Sunday morning brunch when you can’t afford to be up all night but still want something hot and bitter and coffee-ish with your tofu scramble. I love that they’ve finally started making it in bags in the last few years! I can bring these to school and just get hot water and boom, instant late-night pick-me-up without the buzz!
  • I wasn’t a fan of the 22 Days chocolate protein drink mix. I’m spoiled by Vega (when I can afford it) – that vanilla chai is so delicious, it makes other protein drink mix powders cry. It’s also, like, $4 a pack, so it’s a treat when I can get it. I had this packet with me one marathon day in the lab, so I was really glad to have something to fit that mid-afternoon snack craving. I didn’t have my blender bottle cup on me so I just had to use a fork to stir this, and EW. It was GUMMY. I looked at the ingredients list and there was a ton of fruit pectin. That struck me as sort of weird. Why would that be in a drink mix? I mean, I can understand a little bit of some gums to provide a little viscosity, but seriously, this stuff was straight up gloppy. I added more water and stirred as best I could, then took a gulp – and tossed the stuff down the drain. I’ve had way worse protein drinks, but this one was a no go for me.
  • I didn’t eat the 22 Days protein bar myself, but Mr. Spice took it with him to work and when I asked him to describe it to me in detail he said it was “good.” A little gritty, but he said the flavor was overall very nice. I wish I had gotten to try a taste! It was a little heavy for me since I usually stick to lighter bars, but for a big strong manly man like him it was great.
  • The Meow Meow Tweet (cutest brand name ever) lip balm was rosemary eucalyptus-flavored. ROSEMARY in a lip balm! So crazy! It sounded delightful, and went on nice and smooth and made my lips feel super soft. The flavor was a little much, though. As in, when I put it on, I immediately exclaimed, “ITALIAN FOOD!” Mr. Spice agreed, and when I tried to go in for a smooch he recoiled saying, “Oh wow, Italian food.” I liked the balm itself but the rosemary flavor was just too strong and weird to be on my lips for long.
Always has to get her face in everything.

Always has to get her face in everything.

I still have the little packet of Parmela parmesan left, and of course the Teese tube. Overall I’d say this was an awesome box, and at $20 a month this is a really fun deal. I imagine the Snack Box subscription to be like the fun of opening my weekly CSA box, without all the disappointment of getting the same damned zucchinis four weeks in a row and lettuce that wilts in two days. It’s a fun surprise when you open the box, and who doesn’t love having portable snacks on hand? I am super pressed for time these days and rarely have time to cook, or even to pack myself snacks, so I really enjoyed having these ready to go. It also threw some much-needed variety into my boring snack habits. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lit review to write up and a tube of Teese to stare at longingly.